Letssss jusssst stop! Drop everythaaaaang

Forget eachotherssss namesss. And just walk awaaaaaaaaaay.

It could beeeeee like we never knew eachother AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
-chiodos

If you wanted to know ^^^^ that is pretty much what happend with Juan and I. I don't feel like writing essay about the end of us.


Since it's been a while since I posted, and there is a lot going on I'm gonna chop this up by category. Read what you want skip what you don't give a damn about.


Financial Shit

So things in my life are looking up. I still don't have a job, but we're not getting forclosed on....yet. So now I have a stable living enviorment and the constant feeling of worry I have been feeling because of the "I don't wanna be homeless." thing is over. I can sleep again, that sounds weird but all the stress from the impending forclosure keeps me up for days on end. So I'm always yawning and knocking out in inappropriate places( sorry sarah lol )I'm still broke, but knowing where I'm gonna lay my head for now is peace enough for me to not stress the money thing as much.

Baby Brother Shit

I got a new baby brother, he is hardcore.





Ericson Luna July.23rd.2009.<3


NYAF SHIT!
I can't fucking wait for NYAF I can't believe its been a whole year. I can't wait to see uncle yo I love him. Hopefully sarah and I can get our thuper thsecret costumes done in time, with time for alterations if its needed. boop I cant wait.




Boyfriend Shit.
I got a new bf, His name is Walter. He is chubby. He is a tech geek. He pisses me off. He obliterates my loneliness. He makes me wanna punch him. He is everything I want.

Well he isnt the funniest guy... But I have enough humor for us both.

Did I mention he speaks english?

I mean he IS Dominican and everyone knows I have that platano feverrrrr.


Plus he is super romantical~

Is this all there is?

Constant struggle is that all we have? Is this all i have to look forward to? Is this it? This is the "real," world?

It's fucking shitty. And it's pissing me off.

Through all this muck and dirt, my shiny badge of optimism is being tarnished and is barley even visible at all anymore.




Emo post is emo.

Fuck.

All I wanna do is help, and there is nothing I can do. It is the most awful feeling. Right guy, wrong time.

Nothing I can do for him, nothing at all.

:(

News flash: I'm a dumbass/terrible person.

If you read mt blogs enough that means you know or can guess why Im a terrible person.

God damnnnnnnnn

I never has so much sexual tension with a dude in my life, I think its easier to just do it and viola no more tension. But I'm doing this waiting thing, and Walter is the last guy I would expect to be in this situation with. But I don't think I can hang out with him alone if im supposed to wait a while for the sex part, public hangouts only. fuck fuck fuck, this is crazzzzzy. In class today after he dropped me off I felt like I was gonna cry lol so I just went to sleep in class. I'm supposed to chill with him alone on friday wish me luck~

How?

How do you achieve male friends without them liking you? Every time I have had a potential friendship with a guy it always comes to -Relationship or gtfo- CANT I JUST HAVE A GUY FRIEND FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE?

I like the guy I met yesterday, but whether I would like him as friend or something else remains to be seen, why say you like me so soon? Now I feel pressured to date him I know its possible for guys and girls to be friends, but apparently not for me. I seriously don't feel like dating right now after Juan. But this guy is super cool and I want to see where the friendship goes, I hate feeling like I HAVE to see him in a Romantic light, fuck it if he doesnt wanna just be my friend thats just peachy.

Smile

I know what to let go of, I know the things that are unreachable, I know the shallow wants I had.

Closure had provided me with a smile so big, a feeling so content I just wanna spread my happiness to everyone.

Nothing beats knowing when to just let go, and going with it peacefully, not painfully.

11.14.08-7.12.09<3